Driving home from a quick trip to Southern Oregon to see some adorable twins my friend just had, I found out about someone I very much respect and look up to has a medical diagnosis and is enduring severe complications. I was flooded with tears as I drove toward home that first hour through the smoke in the mountains from a local forest fire. I was angry at the devil and shocked at not knowing that it was going on and has been for a few months. My heart broke for her family and I could not contain the tears. Just as I was celebrating the new life of these beautiful twins, she is fighting for hers. If you are reading this say a prayer for her! God knows who she is without her name!
The sermon that Sunday morning was from a wonderful woman who shares truth and one thing she said challenged me. She talked about the true real love of Jesus and how we live our lives. If I really and truly am in Love with the Lord then how could I do something I know is wrong? That was super convicting for me. I haven't been praying or reading the word. I haven't been living my life the way I preach that I do or even the way I think I should or the way I think other people should live. I drove home praying and thinking on what areas in my life I need to change. Do I reflect my highest morals and beliefs? It is truly humbling to reflect on yourself. Perhaps some of those tears were my heart of repentance and just desire to be closer to Jesus.
If you are at a place where you cannot explain why you are messing up in certain areas or not spending enough time with the Lord, take a moment to ask for forgiveness and let his Grace overflow in your life. Remember that his Love is unconditional and he isn't far away from you at any moment, even if you can't "feel" it. Reach out and take hold of his promise that he is always Faithful!!!
love to each of you in Christ
Monday, July 30, 2018
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Listen to your gut when it comes to your body and getting a massage!
This is why we as women need to stick up for ourselves, here is my story...
Just a few weeks ago I was suffering from low back pain really severely. Thankfully I had a massage already scheduled for the next day. I had purchased it through Groupon weeks before and picked a random Saturday afternoon to receive it. I had to choose between a guy and a gal, I chose the guy based on my sister's recommendation as she saw him the week before. I received an hour massage where the masseuse, let's call him Max, asked me questions about what areas of my body needed attention. I have several areas that are tight and explained what I wanted.
About a month before I was doing wall push-ups and hurt my chest muscles. I had severe pain, especially on the left breast. When I first laid down on the massage table face down it hurt a little. We were chatting and after turning on my back Max offered to do a chest massage it was professional and totally fine. I have not exposed my breast to a man in several years so it was a little weird for me but it is their job to see me as a client (Although looking up rules about it he should have used a sheet). I went on my way after some neck massage and everything was fine. I then began to question if it was okay for me to let a man massage my chest. No, it wasn't on the nipples just around and above but some breast was touched as well. I asked another masseuse who happens to be my friend who is in massage school, she said using a sheet was fine and that they had practiced it in class just a few months before. I asked her what she thought about it being moral or not because we value our privacy and touch is so intimate. She said it really has to do with what you are comfortable with. I had some things to ponder before I had a second massage. I went back and forth justifying it in my mind that it was okay.
Yesterday I went in for my second massage, an even longer one at 90 minutes. I was looking forward to it. Everything was fine and then I turned over and Max asked if I wanted massage done on my chest again. I said yes because it really is tight. It was sporadic and my nipple was grazed. I felt like it was odd and not professional like the last time. Then the next side was done and the same thing. I just thought it was because of time or whatever. My massage ended 10 minutes later. I paid and left and then thought it was fine but couldn't shake a creepy feeling. I questioned myself if I was overreacting or just making it up in my head that it wasn't okay. I looked up Oregon massage reporting and rules. Most states say a sheet needs to be used. I didn't feel like I needed to report him to anything.
I texted the gal about it who also happens to be his fiance. They own the company together and share an office with massage rooms. I had been texting her to set up the appointments. She is a masseuse and deserved to know. She was kind and offered a free massage. I do not want to go there again. What if other women are feeling uncomfortable but not speaking up? Is he really a weirdo creep or just doing his job? I do not know but I needed to follow my gut and speak up for myself. The gal apologized for his work making me uncomfortable and asked how she could help in the situation. She was professional and understanding. I hope this is just a fluke thing and not the beginning of women complaining. I will not be back to this massage business. I recommended that he use a sheet in the future.
Yes, this may seem like a small trivial thing to you but it wasn't something to take lightly for me. Listen to your gut. Listen to your instincts.
Just a few weeks ago I was suffering from low back pain really severely. Thankfully I had a massage already scheduled for the next day. I had purchased it through Groupon weeks before and picked a random Saturday afternoon to receive it. I had to choose between a guy and a gal, I chose the guy based on my sister's recommendation as she saw him the week before. I received an hour massage where the masseuse, let's call him Max, asked me questions about what areas of my body needed attention. I have several areas that are tight and explained what I wanted.
About a month before I was doing wall push-ups and hurt my chest muscles. I had severe pain, especially on the left breast. When I first laid down on the massage table face down it hurt a little. We were chatting and after turning on my back Max offered to do a chest massage it was professional and totally fine. I have not exposed my breast to a man in several years so it was a little weird for me but it is their job to see me as a client (Although looking up rules about it he should have used a sheet). I went on my way after some neck massage and everything was fine. I then began to question if it was okay for me to let a man massage my chest. No, it wasn't on the nipples just around and above but some breast was touched as well. I asked another masseuse who happens to be my friend who is in massage school, she said using a sheet was fine and that they had practiced it in class just a few months before. I asked her what she thought about it being moral or not because we value our privacy and touch is so intimate. She said it really has to do with what you are comfortable with. I had some things to ponder before I had a second massage. I went back and forth justifying it in my mind that it was okay.
Yesterday I went in for my second massage, an even longer one at 90 minutes. I was looking forward to it. Everything was fine and then I turned over and Max asked if I wanted massage done on my chest again. I said yes because it really is tight. It was sporadic and my nipple was grazed. I felt like it was odd and not professional like the last time. Then the next side was done and the same thing. I just thought it was because of time or whatever. My massage ended 10 minutes later. I paid and left and then thought it was fine but couldn't shake a creepy feeling. I questioned myself if I was overreacting or just making it up in my head that it wasn't okay. I looked up Oregon massage reporting and rules. Most states say a sheet needs to be used. I didn't feel like I needed to report him to anything.
I texted the gal about it who also happens to be his fiance. They own the company together and share an office with massage rooms. I had been texting her to set up the appointments. She is a masseuse and deserved to know. She was kind and offered a free massage. I do not want to go there again. What if other women are feeling uncomfortable but not speaking up? Is he really a weirdo creep or just doing his job? I do not know but I needed to follow my gut and speak up for myself. The gal apologized for his work making me uncomfortable and asked how she could help in the situation. She was professional and understanding. I hope this is just a fluke thing and not the beginning of women complaining. I will not be back to this massage business. I recommended that he use a sheet in the future.
Yes, this may seem like a small trivial thing to you but it wasn't something to take lightly for me. Listen to your gut. Listen to your instincts.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
A little bit of everything
I wrote a Facebook post this evening summing up my day... "
feeling emotional, Whew... What a hard day!" My friend Rebecca commented, "speak," to which I replied, "a little bit of everything." It just is that.
Here is my list of everything's:
~ Went to bed later than normal and didn't get a proper nights sleep, so I woke up tired this morning.
~ I have been struggling for a few weeks with my eating habits and keeping my calorie count, as well as gluten free in check.
~ I don't have a job in 2 weeks and have to register for PortlandCC classes tomorrow.
~ The pressure is building and subconsciously I am not handling it well.
~ I am an emotional wreck inside, as my time with these kids ends very soon.
~ The thought of leaving this place and people behind brings tears streaking down my face often, and even now as I type.
~ I cry almost everyday and often while driving to work.
~ I am so behind where I wanted to be on losing weight, that I beat myself up.
(Its like something comes over me and I can't fight it when overeating)
~ I am failing in two areas of my life that are like thorns in my side and it makes me sad.
~ I need to read my bible more and meditate on Gods word.
~ It is hard to be excited about the unknown and it is a weird feeling to be happy to move, but yet sad to go and scared at the same time.
~ I feel like I have lost it...
~ To top it off, I am having a really hard time in my math class just this week. I have three tests in the next three weeks.
~ I am turning 30 in 2 months AH!!!!!!!
~ I know I am to move to Portland and that I have heard from God about it.
~ I have had a smooth transition to the college and that has helped.
~ It has been easy to get rid of my things and just pass them on to new people
~ I have people who love me and will miss me (such a nice thought)
~ I am not losing it... What I feel and reality are different right now.
One of the most profound things ever spoken to me was "What if it's not about how you feel?" UM- Life changing! I am not doing a good job of putting that into practice right now. I am letting my emotions dictate how I feel, therefore, resulting in letting go of the rest of my life, because I can't handle it without food. I have always been an emotional eater. The last year has been my biggest effort at changing it. As of right now, I am at 290lbs, which is so good compared to before. I fail to see my progress and start the whole cycle of being sad and eating because of it. It is a hard habit to kick after 20+ years. It's like my emotions dictate my life, instead of my life dictating my emotions. I hate that feeling, like I am helpless and like I need to fill a void with food, but it never gets filled, no matter what I do. I recognize it quicker than before, which is a blessing, but I haven't overcome it yet.
I've got to see that I am worth it and the amount of effort I put into myself will yield results. Looking at the little pieces of life, instead of the bigger picture screws up your view. I've got to learn to LET IT GO... Ha, yes the theme of a birthday party I am attending in a few days. But it's true. I can't hold all of this inside anymore. I've got to process my emotions and give it all to the Lord. To daily renew my mind and let him lead.
I am just now open to applying for different jobs than I would have. It is scary to think about being a live-out and finding a place to rent, but if that is what's needed God will provide. :)
feeling emotional, Whew... What a hard day!" My friend Rebecca commented, "speak," to which I replied, "a little bit of everything." It just is that.Here is my list of everything's:
~ Went to bed later than normal and didn't get a proper nights sleep, so I woke up tired this morning.
~ I have been struggling for a few weeks with my eating habits and keeping my calorie count, as well as gluten free in check.
~ I don't have a job in 2 weeks and have to register for PortlandCC classes tomorrow.
~ The pressure is building and subconsciously I am not handling it well.
~ I am an emotional wreck inside, as my time with these kids ends very soon.
~ The thought of leaving this place and people behind brings tears streaking down my face often, and even now as I type.
~ I cry almost everyday and often while driving to work.
~ I am so behind where I wanted to be on losing weight, that I beat myself up.
(Its like something comes over me and I can't fight it when overeating)
~ I am failing in two areas of my life that are like thorns in my side and it makes me sad.
~ I need to read my bible more and meditate on Gods word.
~ It is hard to be excited about the unknown and it is a weird feeling to be happy to move, but yet sad to go and scared at the same time.
~ I feel like I have lost it...
~ To top it off, I am having a really hard time in my math class just this week. I have three tests in the next three weeks.
~ I am turning 30 in 2 months AH!!!!!!!
~ I know I am to move to Portland and that I have heard from God about it.
~ I have had a smooth transition to the college and that has helped.
~ It has been easy to get rid of my things and just pass them on to new people
~ I have people who love me and will miss me (such a nice thought)
~ I am not losing it... What I feel and reality are different right now.
One of the most profound things ever spoken to me was "What if it's not about how you feel?" UM- Life changing! I am not doing a good job of putting that into practice right now. I am letting my emotions dictate how I feel, therefore, resulting in letting go of the rest of my life, because I can't handle it without food. I have always been an emotional eater. The last year has been my biggest effort at changing it. As of right now, I am at 290lbs, which is so good compared to before. I fail to see my progress and start the whole cycle of being sad and eating because of it. It is a hard habit to kick after 20+ years. It's like my emotions dictate my life, instead of my life dictating my emotions. I hate that feeling, like I am helpless and like I need to fill a void with food, but it never gets filled, no matter what I do. I recognize it quicker than before, which is a blessing, but I haven't overcome it yet.
I've got to see that I am worth it and the amount of effort I put into myself will yield results. Looking at the little pieces of life, instead of the bigger picture screws up your view. I've got to learn to LET IT GO... Ha, yes the theme of a birthday party I am attending in a few days. But it's true. I can't hold all of this inside anymore. I've got to process my emotions and give it all to the Lord. To daily renew my mind and let him lead.
I am just now open to applying for different jobs than I would have. It is scary to think about being a live-out and finding a place to rent, but if that is what's needed God will provide. :)
Monday, June 9, 2014
Monday, April 1, 2013
Blogging is for me
In order to get those thoughts and feelings out I talked about the other day, this blog is going to be my place to turn. I need an outlet and this is it! Instead of turning to other things to relieve my pain, frustration and stress writing is a huge relief.
I had a wonderful conversation for a few hours into the wee morn 2AM last night. It was very good. Just being myself and getting to know more about a friend is great. Some of the things they said actually made me cry. They were good tears, tears of relief, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy mixed into one. It was like I was being understood and valued.
I've known this person a long time but we don't chat like that ever! I asked them to share a few things from The Lord and it was spot on. :-) grateful for that'
I'm thankful right now for friendships, old and new. I am enjoying spending time with so many good friends. It takes time to develop, I would say years actually!
I love games and the fellowship that happens during them. So much fun and Laughter these past few weeks!
I had a wonderful conversation for a few hours into the wee morn 2AM last night. It was very good. Just being myself and getting to know more about a friend is great. Some of the things they said actually made me cry. They were good tears, tears of relief, tears of sorrow, and tears of joy mixed into one. It was like I was being understood and valued.
I've known this person a long time but we don't chat like that ever! I asked them to share a few things from The Lord and it was spot on. :-) grateful for that'
I'm thankful right now for friendships, old and new. I am enjoying spending time with so many good friends. It takes time to develop, I would say years actually!
I love games and the fellowship that happens during them. So much fun and Laughter these past few weeks!
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Its Okay to not do it all!
I love it when God speaks to me in dreams. I wont go into specifics but I woke up today knowing it was okay to drop a class and beneficial to my health. I registered for 13 credits which is 4 classes and with working two jobs, plus a social life and being happily committed to the Lord with various fellowship opportunities during the week something had to give.
If I didn't go to church I would be forsaking the fellowship of believers and corporately worshiping the Lord is important to me.
If I quit one of my jobs financially I wouldn't be able to make it.
If I cut out my social life I wouldn't be able to handle school stress and would get depressed.
If I cut out a class it would relieve a little stress and I can always take it later as it is available each quarter.
So I came to the conclusion that I am not a failure if I just have 9 credits and its okay to not do everything all the time and pack my life so busy I can't think anymore. I don't like stressed out Janette. She isn't fun!!!
Praising the Lord today for who he is on this Resurrection Sunday. How Blessed am I to know the maker of the Heavens and the Earth. Grateful for a Savior who bled and died for all of us. Jesus Oh what a wonderful name. Each time I say "Jesus" its like a blanket wraps around me. That name is so powerful. Thank You Holy spirit for flooding the earth with the Lords presence.
If I didn't go to church I would be forsaking the fellowship of believers and corporately worshiping the Lord is important to me.
If I quit one of my jobs financially I wouldn't be able to make it.
If I cut out my social life I wouldn't be able to handle school stress and would get depressed.
If I cut out a class it would relieve a little stress and I can always take it later as it is available each quarter.
So I came to the conclusion that I am not a failure if I just have 9 credits and its okay to not do everything all the time and pack my life so busy I can't think anymore. I don't like stressed out Janette. She isn't fun!!!
Praising the Lord today for who he is on this Resurrection Sunday. How Blessed am I to know the maker of the Heavens and the Earth. Grateful for a Savior who bled and died for all of us. Jesus Oh what a wonderful name. Each time I say "Jesus" its like a blanket wraps around me. That name is so powerful. Thank You Holy spirit for flooding the earth with the Lords presence.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Savior
Oh what thoughts they would have had on this night so long ago. Not knowing their savior would be alive in the morn what agony they may have felt. How astonishing it would've been to be there at the tomb the next day. How would they have felt at the moment they knew he was alive. So thankful for a savior who conquered the grave. How amazing to be part of the family of God.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kh-xgy_Qn0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kh-xgy_Qn0
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